


The Ultimate Evil

by kingbeezelbub



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, seeker silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 13:47:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14498313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingbeezelbub/pseuds/kingbeezelbub
Summary: Skywarp finds something in his shared quarters, and it shakes him to his spark...





	The Ultimate Evil

“OH, PRIMUS, KILL IT! SOMEONE KILL IT!” 

Skywarp’s scream could be heard throughout the ship, and it brought the attention of one concerned blue seeker.

“Warp?! Warp, what’s wrong?!” Thundercracker burst into their berth room and looked at the terrified black seeker. “What is it?!”

“DON’T MOVE, TC!” Skywarp shrieked at the top of his vocalizer. “IT’S AROUND HERE!”

“What?! What is it?!” TC demanded, his spark racing. “Is it the Autobots?!”

“No!” Skywarp wailed. “Worse!”

“…Worse?” TC blinked, confused. “What can be worse than Autobots?”

Skywarp was about to answer, when something caught his optics and made him freeze up in horror. “PRIMUS, IT’S HERE! RUN, TC!” He ran towards the blue seeker and pushed him aside.

“Warp, hey-” He was cut off as the teleporter transported them to somewhere.

Starscream sighed and held a test tube of a random chemical to a beaker. “Easy does it…” He murmured, licking his lips in anticipation. “Almost…”

“SCREAMER!” Skywarp’s shriek caused the Decepticon SiC to spill the entire contents of the tube into the beaker, making it explode. The black seeker winced at the coughing sounds of his trine-mate. “…You okay?”

“Yes. Oh, yes, Skywarp. I’m just…prime.” Starscream grimaced and rubbed the soot off his faceplate. “OF COURSE NOT, YOU GREAT IMBECILE!” He turned to glare at Skywarp. “WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO SCREAM LIKE A DAMNED MADMECH?!”

“The thing, Star! The thing!” Warp whimpered in terror while TC just shook his head. “It was scary and gross and creepy and-and-and-ugly!”

“What?! What thing?!” Starscream stormed over towards his trine-mate and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Tell me, or I’ll beat it out of you, you fool!”

“Starscream, calm down!” Thundercracker chose this moment to stop his fellow trine-brothers from killing each other. “Warp’s freaked out about something, that’s all. He saw…something in our room.”

“Then why won’t he tell me?” Star glared, crossing his arms.

“Just come back to our room…! Help us get rid of it, Star!” Skywarp mumbled. 

Starscream snorted and shook his head. “Fine, I’ll take care of your little ‘problem’.” 

“Thank you, Screamer!” Skywarp gave Starscream a hug and teleported all three of them back to the berthroom. He then scanned his eyes around the room. “It was around here somewhere…”

“Skywarp, if this was a waste of time, I swear…” The red seeker growled. 

TC placed a servo on his shoulder, giving him a pleading look.

“Look, Star. Just humor him, okay? You know how Skywarp gets…”

“Why should I have to humor an idi-”

“THERE IT IS!” Starscream and Thundercracker whirled their heads at Skywarp’s shriek, seeing what he was screaming about. A small, black speck was skittering around the floor. 

“OH, PRIMUS! STARSCREAM, KILL IT!”

“…This is what he was screaming about?” Starscream deadpanned. “A mere earth insect?”

“STOP TALKING AND KILL IT, SCREAMER! IT’S COMING TOWARDS US! NO!” Skywarp howled, shivering in fear.

Thundercracker shook his head. “Warp, it’s not hurting anyone. Pit, it’s more frightened of us, even.”

But Skywarp wasn’t listening. “KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!”

“ALRIGHT!” Starscream shouted, and aimed his null rays at the bug, firing at it. The insect swerved around the beams. “What in the…?”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING, STAR?! KILL IT!” The black seeker screamed.

“I am trying, you gearhead!” The Air Commander snapped. “This slagging thing is clever indeed…”

Thundercracker blinked and sighed. “Guys, just leave it alone. I’m telling you it’s not hurting anything.”

“YOU DON’T KNOW THAT, TC! IT COULD BE CARRYING WEIRD ALIEN GERMS!” The teleporter wailed loudly.

“One, Skywarp, you’re an idiot. Two, how can we contract earth diseases? And three, IT’S JUST AN EARTH CREATURE!” The red seeker growled at his idiot subordinate. He was so absorbed in his rant that he didn’t see the bug crawl upon his ped and climb up. “And furthermore, I-“ He froze and saw the insect on his frame. 

“Primus…!” Skywarp whimpered, optics wide.

Megatron sighed and grumbled under his breath. Starscream wasn’t at his lab, so the next logical place would be his trine-mates quarters. The warlord wondered what excuse he had in store for him this time. He merely wanted to get his new project done. “That stupid winged turbo-”

A familiar, loud screech broke his thoughts. Megatron stopped and turned towards the door. “What in the Pit is he screaming about now?” The silver mech entered the room and a bizarre sight greeted him.

Starscream was howling like a wild animal, dancing in a strange way. “GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!”

Meanwhile, Skywarp was sitting on the floor, sobbing his optics out and Thundercracker was just… standing there, looking neutral about this affair.

The silver warlord turned to the blue seeker and sighed. “Thundercracker, what is this I’m looking at?”

“Skywarp found an earth insect in our quarters and wanted us to get rid of it, and the insect is now crawling on Starscream.” TC explained.

“…Really?” Megatron raised an orbital ridge.

“Yes, my lord.” TC nodded.

Megatron sighed and watched as the black bug crawled off of Starscream and skittered towards him. He let out a snort.

“LORD MEGATRON! LOOK OUT!” Skywarp screamed in horror.

But Megatron was ready. With a leg raised, he slammed his ped onto the bug, killing it instantly.

The three seekers stared at their leader for a moment. Then their reactions came.

“IT’S DEAD! IT’S REALLY DEAD! ALL HAIL MEGATRON!” Skywarp cheered.

“Thank Primus.” Starscream grumbled. “I need a shower.”

“Poor thing.” Thundercracker sighed, shaking his head.

“Poor thing?! Are you crazy, TC?! It was pure evil!” Warp gaped at him, disbelievingly. “You’re lucky Megatron came and saved us!” 

“Anyone of us could’ve squashed that bug, you brainless twit! Why didn’t you just stomp on it in the first place?!” Starscream raged at his trine-mate. “Scared of a mere insect, indeed!”

Megatron shook his head at their antics. They were his mechs, and he had to deal with them. 

“It was creepy, the way it moved! It was scary!” Skywarp whined.

“I’ll show you scary, you slagger!” Starscream raised his null rays at the black seeker.

Skywarp ‘eep’ed and vanished with a vop. The red seeker growled and shook his head, turning to leave the room.

“And where do you think you’re going, Starscream?” Megatron asked, hands on hips.

“I am going to back to work on YOUR project, LORD Megatron.” Starscream sneered.

Megatron shook his head, smirking. “I don’t think so. Refresh my memory, Starscream. Didn’t I order you to clean up this mess in your berthroom? Why is the mess still there?”

“Why should I have to clean up after these idiots?! It’s their mess, they should clean it up!” Starscream sniffed haughtily. Thundercracker face-palmed. This wouldn’t end well.

And indeed, it wouldn’t. The familiar sound of a fusion cannon firing, a loud screech of pain, and a frame crashing against a wall told TC all he needed to know.

“Next time, I expect you to do your part in cleaning up after yourself, Starscream.” Megatron glared down at the downed, moaning seeker. With that, the warlord left.

Thundercracker shook his head and went to tidying up the room, not wanting to get their leader in more trouble than he already was. At least there weren’t any more bugs that he knew of…


End file.
